"THE UNSUCCESSFUL ADVENTURE OF THE CAVALIER"
USUAL SUSPECTS INVOLVED : Dante & Gav & Soperman (on the phone)
LOCATION : The Flat
WRITING SUSPECT:
Dante
Dante - This is a little random, even for me and
Gav. Gav has recently
acquired a very used slightly beaten up
Vauxhall
cavalier, which he intends to sell (post all applications to someone who cares). Today when trying to move it in the drive so it could be photographed to go on
E-bay, we encountered several impressive problems.
The first of these was that we couldn't get the fuel cap cover off, because it had some kind of lock release on it that had Gav and I baffled. So we tried phoning the mechanics we know, and we tried searching for a release lever, and this didn't get us anywhere. We were about to start trying to prise it off with a screwdriver when Soperman rang. When asked if he, of course, knew exactly what to do, his advice was "just lock and unlock the car". It worked. We found out shortly after that that Soperman's brother's first job had been for a Vauxhall dealership.
We then encountered the next problem, which was after we had put the petrol in, we couldn't get the damn thing to start at all. The starter motor was going, but there just wasn't anything else. So what do I suggest? I suggest we moved it out onto the road (which would mean pointing it downhill) and hoping that coaxed the petrol into the engine and would make it start (looking back, why I thought this is unclear). This resulted in me having trouble pushing the damn thing (because its really really heavy) (Gav - Told you so!) and another idea failing.
Next, we tried bump starting it, which if it had worked would have been fine, but it didn't, so all we achieved was getting ourselves further away from the driveway. It became obvious we were going to have to push this car back up the hill to the flat. This is where things began to get really stupid! Gav jumped in Rezmi (The van, not the guy!) and drove it up to the front of the Cavalier, and I jumped into the Cavalier and got ready to steer.
We got as far as the lamp-post outside the flat when we gave up and decided to leave it there. But Gav, who is not one to be put off by insanity, decided that we needed a photo, and said to me "Stick your head out of the window and look scared". Sadly such is our luck today that not even the picture came out.
So to finish, never trust stooge mechanics, because we cant even get the petrol cap off of Vauxhall Cavalier. Any one with advice about what we should do next with the car. We are currently taking suggestions from chimpanzees! Our favourite at the moment is Radaghast, Duracell's dad's suggestion that we should set fire to it!